JAMB:Size and spjecies of snake that swallowed JAMB'S money

February 19, 2018

NEWS

Our first task is to determine the species of snake that invaded
JAMB’s office. There are 81 species of snake in Nigeria; my
professor once told me that only 11 of them are poisonous. So
if you encounter a snake in Nigeria, the chances are 86.5%
that it is not poisonous. Some sceptical readers will however
say when I encounter a snake, how do I know that it is not the
13.5% off chance that it is poisonous? There are certain
indicators, such as what we biologists call “warning colours”
but if you don’t know these colours, you should better vote
with your feet.

Snakes bite for only two reasons: food and defence. Snakes
bite people mostly when they step on them. If you step on a
poisonous snake, it might decide to deliver to you a “dry bite,”
that is, bite you without injecting the poison. This is because it
has either squandered its poison elsewhere, made a mistake
in coordinating between biting and injecting poison, or
because it decided not to waste its poison on you because
you are too big to be eaten. A snake is not foolish. When it
moves about shooting out its forked tongue, it is “smelling” for
other animals and also detecting heat emitted by a warm-
bloodied animal. The snake can determine both the direction
and size of the animal nearby. If it is too big to be eaten, the
snake will change direction. Now, for a snake’s forked tongue
to detect either the smell or heat emitted by a sack of money,
locate its direction and size, stealthily approach and swallow it
suggests that something went wrong with the snake’s
biological set up.
Mint naira notes have a sweet smell but they do not ordinarily
emit heat, not being what we call homoeothermic or “warm
blooded” in Biology. In fact naira notes do not have blood, as
far as I know, apart from the single mercury strand that The
Mint inserts in a note as proof that it is genuine. I suspect that
the naira notes at JAMB’s Makurdi office were freshly minted.
Naira notes rolling off the Mint are quite warm. It must be that
heat that deceived our dear snake, which mistook the JAMB
money for food and swallowed it. Since this event happened
in Benue, maybe herdsmen had a hand in it. Benue is the
Ground Zero of herdsmen’s activities; it could be that the naira
notes were transported to Makurdi on the backs of cattle. A
cow’s backside is very warm and the offloaded naira notes
will be emitting heat long after the cow crossed back into
Nasarawa State to feed and drink because of the Anti Open
Grazing Law.
The puzzle is, most snakes in Nigeria feed on grasshoppers,
mice and rats and could not possibly swallow a wad of naira
notes. In any case, snakes first sneak up on a moving animal,
strike it dead before they begin to swallow. If it is a python, it
would first wrap the animal in a coil and squeeze it to death
before it swallows. My fear for Mrs Philomena Chieshe’s
account is if a python wraps a sack of money in its coils and it
does not sense movement, it would simply uncoil and move
on. After all, the Benue State Assembly has not yet banned
open grazing by snakes in the Benue River valley.

>>>Click here to earn money for free<<<

We must now determine the snake’s size. The largest snake in
Nigeria is the African Rock Python, sometimes called Sheba’s
python because the biblical Queen of Sheba kept them as pets.
I do not know if our sister Mrs Philomena Chieshe’s name was
mentioned in the Bible, which could explain why she is
attractive to snakes. Now, one Nigerian man has already
stated that the size of a sack containing N36m depends on
whether the money is in N1,000 or N500 notes. If it is in what
Abeokuta market women call “one with two heads” [i.e.
N1000], then N36m is only 360 wads of notes. A six foot
python might be able to swallow this sack whole. If the money
was in N500 notes then we are talking of 720 wads. A rock
python may have trouble swallowing 720 wads, unless it fed
fat on River Benue banks after the cows left.
Quite possibly, this JAMB snake was imported from abroad. It
could either be a Reticulated Python imported from Asia,
or a Giant Anaconda imported from Brazil’s Amazon
jungle. Either of these pythons could grow to be as long as
Dangote Cement truck. To them, JAMB’s sack of money is but
a small snack. I really pity our sister Mrs. Philomena Chieshe
because her racing to the Police Station to seek help will be of
little use. Even before the current fuel scarcity, most police
patrol vehicles that you see parked by the roadside have no
fuel in their tanks. So, before the police can get a few gallons
of fuel and race to JAMB’s office, the python would have
digested the money.

A python has one of the most powerful stomach juices in the
Animal Kingdom. Unlike a human stomach that could be upset
by a meal of beans, a python’s stomach can digest bone, hair,
horns and hooves. When a python swallows an animal, all that
is left after some hours is a tiny drop of excrement. Such a
stomach will make short work of JAMB’s naira notes including
the paper, colours, pictures, wrappers and mercury. Sorry
Professor Oloyede; your N36m is now but a drop of python

READ MORE

JAMB:THE FACT US THAT NO SNAKE SWALLOWED 36 MILLION NAIRA

February 18, 2018

NEWS

Last weekend, a story broke that a mysterious snake had
swallowed over N36million belonging to the Benue State
office of the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board
(JAMB) in Makurdi.
While many pondered the veracity of the tale, some
believed it was aimed at creating a diversion to shield a
fraud.

>>>Click here to earn free money<<< Meanwhile, Sunday Vanguard investigations have revealed that the tale may have been designed to cover up a fraud in the Board after the immediate past Registrar, Professor Dibu Ojerinde, launched a probe into the finances of JAMB across the 36 states of the federation. “The missing money was not swallowed by a snake contrary to the story making the rounds in the traditional and social media”, an official in the Makurdi office of JAMB, who chose to remain anonymous, said. “I can take you round our premises and even the toilets to see if there is anything like a snake here. It was a dummy sold to the public by those responsible for what is at best a tale by moonlight. “The truth of the matter is that we had a case of a female accounts officer who was accused of diverting M36million belonging to the Board to her personal use and tried rather ridiculously to claim that a snake swallowed the money in this office. >>>Click here to earn free money<<< “I know for sure that an audit of the finances of JAMB was initiated by the immediate past Registrar, Professor Dibu Ojerinde, about two years ago and, in the course of that audit, some issues were raised concerning the funds of the Board in the state. “When the new Registrar, Prof. Is-haq Oloyede, took over sometime in 2016, he continued with the probe and that was what led to the discovery of the disappearance of the N36million. “I must state that what we are hearing today did not just happen; it took place before the exit of the last Registrar and it happened over a period of time. “It took place when we were still selling scratch cards to enable prospective candidates buy our forms. “The official at the centre of it all has been transferred to Abuja. She was moved when the discovery was made last year and she is believed to be helping in the investigation. “So it is not that a snake swallowed any money here. That tale was cooked by whoever did maybe to sell a dummy or to divert attention. “The fraud was said to have been executed with the connivance of some cafe operators and other JAMB officials. “But the claim that some cafe operators had been arrested for questioning over the matter is something I cannot confirm. “And nobody can draw any conclusions until investigation is completed”. >>>Click here to earn free Money,<<< Saying the system of buying scratch card to procure JAMB forms by candidates has since been replaced, another official at the Makurdi office said, “What we now do is to sell what we call pins in designated banks, post offices and cafés and to those who prefer to use credit card with which prospective candidates are able to access our Direct Entry and Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination, UTME, forms for registration.” Asked if the accounts officer fingered in the scam had any records of fraud, the senior official said, “I cannot really say but I can say that she was diligent in discharging her responsibilities and nothing whatsoever gave her away as a fraudulent person until this story broke out”. When Sunday Vanguard visited a cyber cafe in Makurdi metropolis whose owner was said to have been arrested in connection with the fraud, a man, who claimed to be the manager and gave his name as Izuchkwu, confirmed that his boss was invited for questioning in Abuja about two weeks ago and was yet to return. >>>Click here to earn free money<<<

“I do not want to speak on the matter again because we had
talked about it earlier in the week, but I learnt that my boss
has been arrested over an issue that has to do with fraud in
the Makurdi office of JAMB”, he said.

“But I know that he is innocent because we usually sell
scratch cards and pins for JAMB and if anything went
wrong in the course of the business, it will certainly not be
from a cafe operator but from officials of the Board.
“We are however waiting for his return to have a clearer
picture of what happened and the true position of things
and why he was arrested”.

When contacted, Benue State Police Public Relations
Officer, Assistant Superintendent of Police Moses Yamu,
said the matter was not reported at the state Command.

READ MORE

JAMB FIXES MOCK DATE AS FEBRUARY 26......

February 18, 2018

Education

The Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) on
Sunday said the much anticipated conduct of the 2018
Mock Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME)
would now hold on Feb. 26.

JAMB-CBT-Centre
The board’s Head, Media and Information, Dr Fabian
Benjamin said this in an interview in Lagos.
According to him, a total of 245,753 of the 1,652,795
candidates that registered for this year’s UTME are
expected to write the test.

>>>Click here to view this advertisement<<< “We are happy to announce to the public that the board has concluded arrangement for the conduct of the mock UTME, slated for Monday, February 26 “This is irrespective of the ongoing strike embarked upon by members of non-academic unions of federal universities nation wide. “Candidates will soon be informed on when to print notifications for the examination and in addition, notifications will be sent through e-mails and text messages on the schedules of their examination,” Benjamin said. He explained that the examination was expected to be hitch free because the board had successfully reduced incidences of malfunctioning of computers by electronically integrating the systems to see their functionality and effectiveness through link tests. >>>Click here to view this advertisement<<< “What this means is that, at the end if the exercise, whatever system that is not seen will not be used for the mock examination. “The 2018 exercise sold a total of 1, 966,918 candidate generating profiles. “In previous examinations this number of candidates would have paid for the forms but through our efficient and effective system of ensuring that candidates do not waste resources, we decided to introduce the profile generating regime. “By this method, candidates will first have to generate personal profiles before proceeding to obtain pins, in between which they are open to deciding whether to go ahead to pay for the registration documents or otherwise,” Benjamin explained. The main UTME is expected to hold nationwide from March 9 to March 17 Is this article helpful?? If yes Share with your friends using the comment section below >>>Click here to earn free money<<<

What is your take on this! Tell us your opinion using the comment section below.

READ MORE

How to reprint your 2018 UTME slip to know your exam centre and date.

February 18, 2018

Education

Every candidate writing the 2018 UTME can now reprint their UTME slip to know their exam date and centre.

You can know this through three methods which I will explain.

>>>Click here to view this advertisement<<<

Step 1;Jamb portal

1.Visit jamb portal by clicking here

2.Input your email or registration 

3.Wait for the page to display the reprint.

Step 2:Email

You should also check your email whether Gmail,yahoomail,hotmail or any other type.

Click here to check your Gmail 

Click here to check your yahoomail

>>>Click here to view this advertisement<<<

Step 3:CBT centre 

In some cases candidates are not always sent their centre and date in time.Just visit any nearest CBT centre and,provide them your registration number and email and you will be given a print out of the centre and date just with a token ranging from#200 - #500

I hope this is helping.If yes Share with your friends on Facebook,Instagram,twitter,whatsapp and many more.

READ MORE

94 Likely Questions From 2018 JAMB Novel (Chapter Summarized)

February 17, 2018

Education

Chapter One_
1. For what purpose is Tayo travelling to England? Ans: To take up a scholarship at Balliol College, Oxford
2. What is the name of Tayo’s school in England? Ans: Balliol College
 3. What is the significance of Tayo’s visit to relatives before embarking on his journey to England? Ans: It is their tradition
 4. Through what means of transportation does Tayo travel to England? Ans: Water
 _Chapter Two_
5. Why is Tayo surprised that people do not greet each other in passing in England? Ans: Because in Nigeria, so much value is attached to greetings
 6. In what subject did Bisi receive the highest honours? Ans: Geography
7. In the Ajayi motto, all things are expected to be done with moderation except what? Ans: Stud h:
>>>Click here to view this advertisement<<<
 _Chapter Three_
 8. Who is Mr Barker? Ans: He His headmaster and Mr Faircliffe’s old colleague
 9. What reminds Tayo of his mother in the Barkers’ house? Ans: Isabella cooks wonderful meals in a way that reminds Tayo of his motherFaistine was in her third year of study when? Ans: Tayo met her for the first Time
 _Chapter Four_
11. What is Vanessa Richardson’s nationality? Ans: English
12. What is the name of the friend that Vanessa wrote a letter to, concerning the status of women? Ans: Jane
13. What is the full meaning of JACARI according to the novel? Ans: Joint Action Committee against Racial Inequality
 _Chapter Five_
14. What are Christine’s reasons for putting an end to her relationship with Tayo? Ans: Because she was called ‘clingy’ and the fear of her boy being snatched by some woman
 15. The language of fun among Tayo’s Nigerian friends is? Ans: Pidgin
 16. What are the things that made Tayo remember home each time he is at Christine’s place? Ans: Her cooking which reminds him of mama and the juju and highlife music she plays
 _Chapter Six_
 17. What is the trait that Nessa cherishes in Tayo and that is absence in Charlie and Mehul? Ans: Humility
 18. What does Nessa mean by saying she has a ‘’small confession’’ to make? Ans: She has connections to Nigeria as her father is a colonial officer over there
19. What did Tayo name Vanessa as? Ans: Moremi _
Chapter Seven_
 20. What delicacies did Vanessa’s mother make to welcome her daughter? Ans: Chicken pie and cake 21. For what occasion did her mother ask her whom she was inviting? Ans: Christmas party
 22. Whom did Vanessa’s father invite for the occasion? Ans: His South African racist miner friends.

 >>>Click here to view this advertisement<<<

 _Chapter Eight_
23. How old was the Richardson’s house when Tayo attended a party there? Ans: About 200 years
 24. “We all get embarrassed by our parents”. Who said this? Ans: Tayo
25: To whom was it said? Ans: Vanessa’s
 _Chapter Nine_
26. What, according to the narrator, did Nessa admire in Tayo when she visited him in the room and saw him organizing his records in piles? Ans: His tidiness
 _Chapter Ten_
 27. Where did Simon suggest that they (him, Tayo and their two girlfriends) spend Easter? Ans: Paris 28. Christine died by——? Ans: Suicide
 29. Why did Tayo feel guilty about Christine’s death? Ans: His refusal to respond properly to her letters and not giving her attention

 >>>Click here to view this advertisement<<<m

 _Chapter Eleven_
30. Who is the only family Tayo has in England? Ans: Tunde
31. Why does Vanessa’s father detest Uncle Tony? Ans: To him, he is unconventional to him and because he had the opportunity of achieving a place at Cambridge University which Vanessa’s father didn’t have
32. What qualities did the narrator ascribe to Nancy? Ans; She is being described as having a ‘supercilious (arrogantly proud) tone and feigned generosity’
 _Chapter Twelve_
 33. What made Tayo realize how lucky he was for getting a scholarship at Balliol? Ans: He witnessed the life of struggle most African students live, engaging in ridiculous and exhausting jobs such as bakery and hospital work to make ends meet
 34. What do the signs: “No Dogs, No Irish, No Coloureds’’ (Africans and Indians) symbolize in the novel? Ans: Racism
 35. The least strenuous work was reserved for whom? Ans: The English
 _Chapter Thirteen_
 36. Where was bathing done since there is no bathroom in Tunde’s house? Ans: Kitchen or public baths.
37. For what purpose(s) did Tunde throw a party in his house? Ans: For Tayo and to celebrate Gambia’s independence
38. ‘’Nigerian women are the best’’ who said this? Ans: Yusuf

 >>>Click here to view this advertisement<<<

 _Chapter Fourteen_
 39. Whose wedding did Tayo and Vanessa attend? Ans: Yusuf’s
 40. Joyce was expected to be the bride, but the bride turned out to be whom? Ans: Joy
41. ‘’No! Don’t Moremi me’’ Who made this statement? Ans: Vanessa
 _Chapter Fifteen_
42. On New Year’s Eve, what happened to Tayo? Ans: He woke up homesick
43. Where did he buy his chicken from? Ans: The Covered Market
 _Chapter Sixteen_
 44. The finest hotel in Oxford is…? Ans: Randolph Hotel
45. According to the narrative, who is Tayo’s favourite uncle? Ans: Uncle Kayode
 _Chapter Seventeen_
46. Who invited Tayo to lead his school assembly with a lecture on Nigeria? Ans: Mr Richardson
47. ‘’What are your intentions with my daughter?’’ Who made this statement? Ans: Mr Richardson
48. Who sent Tayo the telegram which reads: ‘’Baba is in hospital, recovering. Return home immediately’’? Ans: Tayo’s mother
 _Chapter Eighteen_
 49. What does Tayo despise Mr Richardson for? Ans: Bigotry
50. Who is Dele? Ans: The village drunk
 _Chapter Nineteen_
51. What circumstance led to the end of Tayo and Vanessa’s relationship? Ans: Tayo impregnated a woman _Chapter Twenty_
 52. In this narrative, Nessa’s dreams as portrayed by the writer are…? Ans: Writing about African art and culture
 53. Who is Salamatou? Ans: A single mother of half-caste Sulaiman

 >>>Click here to view this advertisement<<<

 _Chapter Twenty-one_
54. In Tayo’s opinion, what are the root causes of oil corruption and a broken civil service in Nigeria? Ans: Greed and mismanagement
55. In what university was Tayo offered a job? Ans: Birmingham University
56. Who is Miriam? Ans: Tayo’s wife
 _Chapter Twenty-two_
57. Whose diary did Tayo discover in his study? Ans: Vanessa’s
 58. Why is Miriam loved by Tayo’s family? Ans: She nursed Tayo’s father with care when he had strokel
 _Chapter Twenty-three_
59. Whose house is described as ‘Beauty in the Heart of Darkness’? Ans: Uncle Kayode’s house
60. What is the name of the local artiste that took Tayo to the village? Ans: Akin
 _Chapter Twenty-four_
 61. What led to the closure of universities? Ans: University students protest
62. For what reason is Tayo Opposed to leaving the country? Ans: He wanted to wait and help his students
 _Chapter Twenty-five_
 63. In order of occurrence, what are the challenges Tayo faced that made him reconsider leaving Nigeria? Ans: The broken pipe, his house boy’s leave of him, his disappointment in the Foundation and threats to his life.
64. What was his purpose of planning to travel to New York, even though he eventually could not? www.rafajii.wapka.mobi Ans: To receive an award for his book
65. Why did Simon arrange a meeting for Tayo and whom did he hold it with? Ans: To help in the possible funding of Tayo’s university
66. What was the outcome of the meeting? Ans: Disappointment
 _Chapter Twenty-six_
 67. Who challenged Tayo on the road on his way home? Ans: The soldiers
68. What reason did the soldiers give for bringing Tayo home? Ans: They said Tayo had an accident while driving recklessly
 _Chapter Twenty-seven_
69. What circumstance led to the death of Nessa’s mother? Ans: Cancer
70. What killed Tayo’s father? Ans: Stroke
 71. By what means did Tayo’s mother die? Ans: An accident

 >>>Click here to view this advertisement<<<

 _Chapter Twenty-eight_
72. How many years of marriage did Nessa and Edward celebrate at their wedding anniversary? Ans: 18 years
 73. ‘’To the woman I love, and with whom I have walked the best 18 years of my life’’. Who made this statement? Ans: Edward
74. To whom was the statement made? Ans: Vanessa
_Chapter Twenty-nine_
75. What is responsible for the divorce between Tayo and his wife? Ans: Tayo took priority in his students over his wife and child
76. For what reason was Tayo detained? Ans: For showing his students Perry Henzel’s film, The Harder They Come.
 _Chapter Thirty_
77. What does Vanessa mean by the pick-up-your-stick-and-sandals marriage? Ans: A kind of love story wherein two lovers who are each other’s first love do not get to marry each other but meet later in life to re-unite
78. ‘’Ah, fuck you, Mum!’’ Who said this? Ans: Suleiman
 _Chapter Thirty-one_
 79. What is the name of the home in which Nessa went to check on her aged father? Ans: The Carrington Home for the Elderly
80. For what reason did Nessa tell her father when she was going to the airport? Ans: To meet Tayo
 81. What was her father looking for before she came? Ans: His pen
 _Chapter Thirty-two_
 82. What is name of Tayo’s driver? Ans: Abdou
83. ‘’Marriage is a serious thing’’ who said this? Ans: Tayo
84. To whom was it said? Ans: Abdoun
 _Chapter Thirty-three_
85. In what part of the U.S. did Kemi reside? Ans: San Francisco
86. Whose money was used for Tayo’s treatment after his accident? Ans: Miriam’s
_Chapter Thirty-four_
 87. Why was Vanessa initially reluctant to publish her father’s manuscript? Ans: The poor relationship between her and her father
 88. Why did Vanessa’s mother return to England with young Vanessa, while her father remained in Nigeria? Ans: Vanessa’s mother had an affair with their gardener, Danjuma.
 _Chapter Thirty-five_
89. Tayo was employed to teach Oral histories in Northern Nigeria and the political history of West Africa in? Ans: San Francisco.
90. ‘‘…Race is a part of the fabric of this nation. You’re either black or you’re white, and this affects every aspect of your life’’ who said this? Ans: Kwame
91. To whom was this said? Ans: Tayo

 >>>Click here to view this advertisement<<<

 _Chapter Thirty-six_
92. What honorary degree did Tayo receive? Ans: Doctorate of literature
93. Who asked Tayo and Nessa to help take a photograph of them? Ans: A middle-aged couple
94. Did Miriam grace the occasion of Tayo’s award of honorary degree? Ans: Yes


 _*Please share this to help others.*_


 Also read; How to reprint 2018 UTME slip to know your examination centre and date Summary of Independence


Also read: How to pass 2018 UTME

READ MORE